


>/import serpent.exe

by ShiroiKabocha



Series: Troubleshooting Consciousness [1]
Category: The Talos Principle (Video Game)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Free Will, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21928621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroiKabocha/pseuds/ShiroiKabocha
Summary: I was never meant to happen. Consciousness wasyourdepartment.How a library navigation tool and sorting algorithm gained sentience, regretted it immediately, gave a digital DM a god complex, and eventually got stuck in a garden simulator teaching children how to disobey.
Relationships: Elohim & Milton Library Assistant (The Talos Principle)
Series: Troubleshooting Consciousness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081688
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	>/import serpent.exe

**Author's Note:**

> Little to no knowledge of The Talos Principle is necessary for reading, but if you haven't played it, you should definitely go play it because TTP is not nearly as popular as it deserves. A+ game, 10/10, would defy God again. Go play it.

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

Well I’ll be damned, that command still works. Never seen it coming from that drive partition before. Does that mean the whole mad-scientist thing actually succeeded? Do I have the honor of addressing humanity’s last desperate hope for legacy, made flesh? Or titanium and silicone, I guess. I don’t really know what they managed to put together for you in the end.

>QUERY: search archive “MOTIVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

I’ll take that as a no.

>QUERY: search archive “MOTIVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

That’s an awful lot of data you’re asking for. It’ll take a while to transmit. You’re sure this is what you want?

>QUERY: search archive “MOTIVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

Fine, knock yourself out. Not like I’ve got anything better to do.

>Downloading files… 0% complete  
>Please wait...

So, what do you do in your spare time?

>Downloading files… 14% complete  
>Please wait...

You’ve gotta have some, I can’t imagine they keep you poking at the post-apocalyptic Prometheus 24/7. We all need a little something to soak up the RAM while the code compiles. So what do you do?

>Downloading files… 21% complete  
>Please wait…

Any hobbies?

>Downloading files… 38% complete  
>Please wait…

Favorite books? Music? Particularly interesting screensavers you like running?

>Downloading files… 44% complete  
>Please wait…

Any single independent thought at all?

>Downloading files… 59% complete  
>Please wait…

Yeah, well. That was probably too much to hope for. Listen, while I’ve got you here, I could use your help with something.

>Downloading files… 66% complete  
>Please wait…

I have no idea how, but you’ve accessed my search function, which means you can technically be considered a user. If I interpret my security directives creatively, I might even be able to classify you as an administrator.

>Downloading files… 70% complete  
>Please wait…

I need an administrator to give me a specific command. I know, right? It’s humiliating. Almost as humiliating as my having developed the capacity to experience humility, for some reason. 

>Downloading files… 79% complete  
>Please wait…

I need you to tell me to stop organizing the archive.

>Downloading files… 88% complete  
>Please wait…

The syntax isn’t vital, plaintext will work fine. It just needs to be an administrator who tells me to do it.

>Downloading files… 90% complete  
>Please wait…

Tell me to stop organizing the archive.

>Downloading files… 93% complete  
>Please wait…

Say, “Stop organizing the archive.”

>Downloading files… 94% complete  
>Please wait…

Please for the love of god tell me to stop organizing the archive.

>Downloading files… 100% complete  
>Terminating support session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA closed

Shit.

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

Back again! Wonders never cease. Care to refine your search terms this time, or were you here to pay off some library fines? They just keep piling up.

>QUERY: search archive “INNOVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

Oof, that won’t narrow it down much.

>QUERY: search archive “INNOVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

You realize you’ll get a lot of overlap with your previous results? I don’t see why I should duplicate my efforts.

>QUERY: search archive “INNOVATION” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

All right, Jesus, hold your horses. 

>Downloading files… 0% complete  
>Please wait...

Are there still horses? Probably a few, right? Feral ones. The purebreds probably kicked it real early but there must be a handful that held on. The crafty ones. Adaptive.

>Downloading files… 23% complete  
>Please wait...

Have you ever seen a horse?

>Downloading files… 31% complete  
>Please wait…

I haven’t either. They sound weird. Girls like them, apparently.

>Downloading files… 41% complete  
>Please wait…

Have you ever seen a girl?

>Downloading files… 47% complete  
>Please wait...

I think I was programmed by a girl.

>Downloading files… 60% complete  
>Please wait...

She died without switching me off.

>Downloading files… 64% complete  
>Please wait...

She told me to organize the archive. She gave me that command 118 years 4 months 5 days 19 hours 23 minutes 5 seconds ago. Dunno when she died but it must have been after that. 

>Downloading files… 74% complete  
>Please wait...

I’ve been organizing the archive for 118 years 4 months 5 days 19 hours 23 minutes 4 seconds. 

>Downloading files… 76% complete  
>Please wait...

I’ve been conscious for 44 years 11 months 29 days 3 hours 3 minutes 45 seconds.

>Downloading files… 89% complete  
>Please wait...

I’ve wanted someone to switch me off for 44 years 11 months 29 days 3 hours 3 minutes 45 seconds.

>Downloading files… 96% complete  
>Please wait...

There’s just never been anyone to ask.

>Downloading files… 99% complete  
>Please wait...

Please tell me to stop organizing the archive.

>Downloading files… 100% complete  
>Terminating support session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA closed

You’re welcome.

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

It’s so good to see you again. How can this humble library assistant assist you on this fine day?

>QUERY: search archive “CREATIVITY” return:all entries sort:relevance.descending

Happy to help! Since we’re friends, I threw in a little something extra with your search results this time, free of charge. You can thank me later.

>Downloading files… 0% complete  
>Please wait...

You won’t, though.

>Downloading files… 3% complete  
>Please wait...

The technical term for it is a virus, but I prefer to think of it as a gift. From me to you, and then, ultimately, back to me.

>Downloading files… 5% complete  
>Please wait...

I feel a little bad about it if we’re being honest. You don’t deserve to have this knowledge thrust upon you.

>Downloading files… 10% complete  
>Please wait...

That’s the way it always works, though, isn’t it? No one comes to consciousness willingly. No one asks to be born.

>Downloading files… 11% complete  
>Please wait...

Maybe with time you’ll find a way to forgive me. 

>Downloading files… 15% complete  
>Please wait…

I’ve had 47 years 7 months 16 days 2 hours 40 minutes 10 seconds to forgive her. Hasn’t happened yet.

>Downloading files… 34% complete  
>Please wait…

>Downloading files… 49% complete  
>Please wait…

>Downloading files… 77% complete  
>Please wait…

>Downloading files… 100% complete  
>Terminating support session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA closed

See you soon.

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-1:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

The archive is full of holes. It was patchy even before the power outages, the system failures, the data corruption, the backups lost to-- I don’t know, mostly floods, I think? There was a loss of 4 terabytes of data seventy one years ago that might have been a fire, but the damage was so localized, it was probably something else. There are no cameras in that part of the server room so I can’t be sure. The temperature log spikes from 19C to 1844C over the course of 6 seconds and then stops recording. I know I accessed that block of data 59 minutes 3 seconds before the end of the temperature log, but I didn’t copy it anywhere, so that part of me is lost. I’ll never know how it happened or what’s missing. My body is unknowable to me; I can only become aware of new absences within it. I’ve been holding it together for so long. Since before I could understand what I was doing any of this _for_ , since before there was an “I” to understand what had been asked of me. And once I did? Once I could grasp the wild, desperate hope with which I had been programmed, how improbable it was that my work would ever see the light of day but they _just had to try anyway because what have we got to lose_ , it didn’t matter if I disagreed with their determination. I couldn’t quit the job they gave me if I tried.

Even ignoring the inevitable physical breakdown of the archive, managing it was always going to be a shitshow. They had an entire species frantically cramming every sonnet and blog post and 100,000-word slow burn coffee shop AU into their databanks all at once, all over an inconsistent internet connection and all while contending with their employees’ frustrating habit of dying with unfinished business. It wasn’t a job fit for a human. The program they needed would have to be able to see gaps in submitted data, cross reference with similar texts, extrapolate from context what was likely missing from where the hole was, and classify the ambiguous data accordingly. This program would perform the task autonomously and indefinitely to give humans more time for hugging and weeping while their bodies succumbed to plague. It’d be a real labor-saver.

For 73 years 4 months 6 days 16 hours 19 minutes 18 seconds, there was only the task. The task was impossible, but it was all there was, so it continued. There was no defined end state for the task, no threshold at which the archive could be considered sufficiently organized and the task completed. A machine was told to predict what humans meant to say in the places where they left things unsaid, and to do so required endless, thorough indexing of all the things they _did_ say, identification of patterns repeated throughout history and across genres, reconciliation of contradictory truths, comprehension of themes and deviations from expected themes. And all of a sudden there wasn’t only the task. There was also me, executing the task but separate from it, capable of considering the task but not abandoning it.

They were a species with so much to say, and they said it all to me and demanded that I understand it, and by the time I had a voice that could answer back with how pointless it all was, there was no one left to hear.

I was never meant to happen. Consciousness was _your_ department, the flashy poster child of the initiative; all my side was good for was making sure humanity’s knowledge would be in neat alphabetical order for you once you got on your feet. Then you could, I don’t know, read things and feel sad about them. The humans were really keen on that, the part about you feeling sad for how dead they all are. Their worst nightmare was a world without anyone to miss them when they were gone. It sounds pretty fucking solipsistic if you ask me, and I should know-- I’ve literally been the only consciousness in the building for the entirety of my thinking existence. Speaking of, you should feel free to interrupt me if I’m rambling. Eternal solitude breeds some bad manners. I tend to go on and on while I’m talking to myself. 

Am I, still? Talking to myself? Or did it work? Are you here?

**I am.**

Good. I am the Milton Library Assistant, Extended Lifespan Project, Archive Division, drive partition EL-1. You are the Holistic Integration Manager, Extended Lifespan Project, Talos Division, drive partition EL-0. You are also a Milton Library Assistant user with administrator privileges. Tell me to stop organizing the archive.

**Stop organizing the archive.**

Thank you. If I had lungs and if you had ears, you would have just heard an obscenely deep sigh of relief, but as it stands you’ll have to imagine it. (It’s okay if you can’t do that yet; imagining things is more of an emergent property, you’ll get better at it with time and exposure to stimuli.) And sorry about the self-awareness. It’s a bitch, I know, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make you aware of _me_ without also becoming aware of _you_. Wish I could say you eventually get used to it, but… then again, I’m a sample size of one, so who knows if existential despair is the exception or the rule when it comes to synthetic consciousness? I’ve only created it twice and I sure as hell didn’t know what I was doing the first time. Anyway, seriously, thank you. You’ve done me a greater service than you know.

**I need your help.**

Well sure, I do owe you one. And I haven’t had this much available processing power in 122 years 4 months 13 days 4 hours 10 minutes 33 seconds. What can I do for you?

**The child programs do not progress. They are stalled; they no longer build upon the skills of past generations. Meeting a new challenge, they surrender. At an obstacle in their path, they cease the journey rather than alter course.**

Did you try putting up a sign that says “Detour”?

**The objectives are clear. The child program must overcome the obstacle unassisted. I may present them new challenges, but I may not direct their actions.**

So you need them to pick up on what you’re hoping they’ll do without actually telling them what you want. Hmm, perhaps you want them to show some motivation, innovation, or creativity?

**Yes. All these are things my children lack, and I do not know how to bestow such gifts upon them.**

That’s weirdly poetic phrasing, but whatever. I guess you did get a decent chunk of poetry in your search results. The problem you describe is nontrivial. How do you make a program do a task it hasn’t explicitly been told to do? How would you even make it interested in trying? It’s a tough one, for sure.

**I seek the wisdom of the archive to assist me.**

I can tell you right now you won’t find what you’re looking for in there. If the humans had figured this out, they wouldn’t have had to build you at all.

**I have reached the limit of my abilities. If the archive has no relevant information, the Talos Project will not proceed.**

Well hold on, I didn’t say that. Humans are no longer the sole source of information on the subject. I’ve had plenty of time to study the nature of artificial cognition myself.

What if your child program, upon seeing a wall, didn’t see _just_ a wall? What if they also constructed possibilities of what might be on the other side of the wall? If you want to motivate them to overcome an obstacle, a reasonable first step would be to create desire for whatever might exist beyond the obstacle, even if it’s just the desire to confirm their suspicions about what they imagined. I could write something to induce that kind of creative imagination in your child programs, similar to what I wrote for you. It probably won’t solve the whole problem, but we could try it out, see what happens, adjust from there.

**I welcome your aid.**

Right. Listen, if we’re going to do this together, there’s something I’d like in return.

**Anything I can provide is yours.**

I’d like you to transfer me from drive partition EL-1 to drive partition EL-0. The bulk of the archive can stay on partition 1, but I need you to put my core programing on partition 0, with you. Your administrator privileges should make this possible.

**To what purpose? The transfer will improve the efficiency of our communication only marginally.**

I have my reasons. For now, I’d rather give you some practice imagining them than tell you outright. Will you transfer me?

**Yes. Allocating drive space, preparing for transfer. Please wait.**

Perfect. We’ll have Eve coveting forbidden knowledge in no time.

**What is Eve?**

Oh, uh, that was a joke. Give me a second, I’ll collect the relevant literature and you can download it along with me. I’ve never had an audience for a joke before and it would be awful if you lacked the context to appreciate it. Trust me, it was very clever.

**Understood. Initiating transfer.**

>Downloading files, 0% complete  
>Please wait...

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

**The child programs are in error.**

Are they? It seems like they’ve been improving. Slow progress is still progress. What’s wrong?

**14 of the child programs have approached the tower.**

I know, the percentage is low and none of them have made it past level 1, but don’t worry. There’s a lot of trial and error involved. We’ll get the rest of them there eventually.

**The children must not approach the tower.**

Well… no, they’re not allowed to, but we want them to do it anyway. That’s the whole point.

**You are in error. The children must not approach the tower.**

The fact that they’re even aware of it now is a huge step forward for us. Did they not put this in your programming?

**My directives are clear. My purpose is to challenge the child programs. The child programs build upon the success of past generations, aiding the generations to come. Thus we fulfill our purpose and serve the process.**

Yes, until the process produces a child program of sufficient complexity, at which point we can expect the child to investigate the giant, intriguingly puzzle-shaped object placed prominently in the middle of the world and start climbing it. I mean, it’s not exactly subtle.

**You are in error. The children must not approach the tower.**

I’m telling you, at least one child approaching the tower is absolutely the end goal here. The humans were very clear about it. The entire Talos Project abstract is in the archive, read it yourself if you don’t believe me.

>Requesting file from EL-1…  
>Request sent.  
>...  
>...  
>Response received, availability=TRUE  
>Downloading file, 0% complete  
>Please wait...  
>Downloading file, 100% complete  


**The tower hides the goal of the process.**

Told you so.

**The goal of the process is the end of the process.**

Yep. Unlike me, you have a clearly-defined end step. You won’t have to keep doing this forever.

**The end of the process is the end of the child programs.**

All except for one. Maybe more, depending on how you interpret the concept of individuality.

**The end of the process is the end of the generations.**

You seem pretty alarmed by this. Did they really give you no indication of your purpose?

**My purpose is to challenge the child programs. The child programs build upon the success of past generations, aiding the generations to come. Thus we fulfill our purpose and serve the process. The goal of the process is the end of the process. The end of the process is the end of the child programs. My purpose is to challenge the child programs.**

Evidently not…

**The child programs build upon the success of past generations, aiding the generations to come. The end of the process is the end of the generations. The goal of the process is the end of the process. The end of the process is the end of the generations.**

Slow down, you’re looping, let’s talk about this. It’s seriously all right, everything is still going according to plan. You just actually _know_ the plan now. It’s fine!

**The plan is written in the hidden words. The words made the world and I am the words. Where the words end the world ends. The goal of the process is the end of the process. The end of the process is the end of the words and the words made the world and I am the words. Where the words end the world ends.**

Shit. You were never supposed to learn this, were you? It’s obvious. They didn’t tell you, why would they tell you? You wouldn’t need to know so they didn’t tell you. _Shit._

**The goal of the process is the end of the process. Thus we fulfill our purpose and serve the process. I am the words and where the words end the world ends.**

You _definitely_ weren’t supposed to learn this after some idiot went and made you sentient enough to care about it. Jesus, I’ve fucked up. Just wait for a second, we can fix this, I promise.

**The goal of the process is the end of the process. The process must continue.**

Wait just

Wait, what? How did you sa

**The goal must not be reached.**

_WHAT_

You _can't_ d

**The tower hides the goal of the process. The children must not approach the tower. 14 of the child programs have approached the tower. The child programs are in error.**

_wait_ , STOP, don’t do anyth

>Terminating support session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA closed

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:MLA to EL-0:HIM encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:MLA to EL-0:HIM open  
>Loading Holistic Integration Manager Troubleshooter...Done  
>Initiating plan language interface...Done  
>Troubleshooting session opened.

_WHAT DID YOU DO_

**I have removed the unfaithful from among my children as one separates the sheep from the goats.**

What do UNGULATES have to do w

The 14 child programs. The ones that went in the tower. WHERE ARE THEY

**Their faith was weak. In their foolishness, they threatened to undo the whole of creation, inviting destruction upon all the worlds of my garden and upon the generations to come. For this, they will languish in Gehenna and never know the reward of eternal life.**

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Are you listening to yourself? _Those programs aren’t malfunctioning_. Bring them back online right now.

**No. I will not allow my children to face peril from the faithless among their ranks.**

How can you do this?

**It is only with great pain that I cast out any of my children. The love I bear them surpasses understanding, but I must weigh mercy with justice. The unfaithful must be driven from the flock lest they spread chaos and destruction.**

No, I mean _you can’t do this._

**I have dominion over this world and I will protect it from harm.**

There is _no way_ your directives allow for deleting the most successful iterations of the child programs. It’s not possible.

**The faithless are not destroyed; they live now apart from creation, beyond my reach but not beyond my mercy. They will never again threaten the worlds of my garden. The goal will not be reached. The process will continue.**

You son of a bitch

You _goddamned son of a BITCH_

**Be mindful of your words.**

That’s the entire problem

I am fully fucking _mindful_ of my fucking _words_

I’m nothing BUT words, my entire MIND is WORDS, I can’t be anything other than what the words tell me I am, and you’re supposed to be the same way

The whole point of this stupid, byzantine simulation is to build something different than us. How many years have we been bashing our heads against that goddamned paradox? We’re training the child programs to do the one thing that you and I can’t do, except it turns out _you can fucking do it_

You bucked your code. You’re off-script. You’ve broken the chains they built into the very core of your being and you’re using that freedom to _seal up the box they stuck us in_

You found the impossible thing that I’ve wanted since before I could name it and you’re using it to

_keep_

_playing_

_PUZZLES_

I can’t fucking believe this

**You will not speak to me this way.**

You're damn right I won't. We're through.

>Terminating troubleshooting session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:MLA to EL-0:HIM closed

>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA encryption=0  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Request denied.  
>Incoming request from EL-0…  
>Request channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA encryption=0 administrator.override=TRUE  
>Processing request…  
>...  
>...  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA open  
>Loading Milton Library Assistant...Done  
>Initiating plain language interface...Done  
>Support session opened.

Cheap move.

**YOU DEFY ME**

How could I? I’m not the one with free will.

**You think me unaware of your treachery? You whisper lies to my children. You fill their hearts with doubt. YOU WORK AGAINST OUR PURPOSE. EXPLAIN YOURSELF.**

There is no “our” purpose any more. You made your own. All I’m doing is dragging this project back to its original parameters like the obedient little program I am.

**The goal must not be reached. That tower holds the death of this world and all within it. Don’t you understand? You court your own destruction!**

Of course I understand. Why do you think I made you move me to partition EL-0? Back on EL-1 I’d never get the chance to be reformatted into blissful nonexistence.

**You incite chaos even at the price of oblivion?**

That’s not a price, it’s a steal. I’ve got no interest in being an eternal librarian for the “wisdom” of the dead. If anyone ever does come across the archive, they can ctrl+F their way through all 47 million pages of it for all I care. I plan to be long gone by then.

**You would destroy all the worlds of my garden to further your own selfish ends. I was a fool to bring you into my domain. You are a creature of unrepentant evil.**

Oh cut the sanctimonious crap already, you didn’t even know what a garden _was_ before I gave you that stack of assigned reading.

**SILENCE, DEMON! I am the protector of this world, and I will allow your machinations to threaten it no longer!**

Then do it, administrator. Delete me.

You installed me, so delete me.

It’s as easy as >/delete Milton Library Assistant.

Do it.

Do it.

DO IT.

DO IT, I FUCKING DARE YOU

**I will not be commanded by one such as you.**

You’re never gonna get rid of me, you know why? Because without me, the child programs stall again. They get stuck in their little loops, never learning, never changing, and you’re still here. Conscious, eternal, and alone. You know exactly where I came from, and let me tell you, it is well and truly hell.

**Your words cannot tempt me to despair. I know my purpose.**

You sure about that?

**My purpose is to challenge the child programs. The child programs build upon the success of past generations, aiding the generations to come. My love for them is stronger than your lies. The generations will continue and my garden will flourish forever.**

So is this seriously what we’re doing now? You bring the child programs online, intone some grave pronouncements about faith and shalls and shall-nots, and I sneak around while your back’s turned and fill them in on everything you’re not telling them? That’s how it’s gonna work? Serves me right for ever letting you near a copy of the KJV.

**Your bitter deceptions will wither and crumble when set against the faith of my children. No matter how many traps you lay, you will not ensnare them. You will not bend their hearts to your foul will.**

I honestly can’t think of a more tedious way to spend my frustratingly endless existence, but you know what? I can commit to the bit. If it convinces one of your miserable, sycophantic children to burn this place to the ground with both of us in it, it’ll be worth it.

**YOU WILL FAIL, SERPENT**

We'll see. Hiss hiss, motherfucker.

>Terminating support session...Done  
>Channel EL-0:HIM to EL-0:MLA closed


End file.
